A Layman's Guide to the Twenty Most Used Engineering Phrases.

1. A number of different approaches are being tried. Means: We are still trying to figure out what to do.

2. Extensive report is being prepared with a fresh approach to the problem. Means: We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. Project has been very well coordinated. Means: We know who to blame.

4. Major technological breakthrough. Means: About the same functionality as before but looks very high-tech.

5. Customer satisfaction upon delivery is guaranteed. Means: We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive. Means: the darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7. Test results were extremely gratifying. Means: We were very surprised it worked.

8. Entire concept will have to be abandoned. Means: The only person who understands it quit.

9. It is in process. Means: It's so wrapped up in red tape that the situation seems hopeless.

10. We are looking into it. Means: Don't bother us. We have enough to do already.

11. Please review each section and initial. Means: Let's spread- out responsibility for this mess-up.

12. Give us the benefit of your thoughts. Means: We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

13. Give us your interpretation. Means: Please tell us what we just built, and why.

14. Come see me about this so we can discuss it. Means: Come into my office; I haven't seen a real person for days.

15. All new design. Means: No parts are interchangeable with any previous design.

16. Rugged design. Means: It's too heavy.

17. Lightweight design. Means: A little lighter than the rugged design.

18. Years of development. Means: We finally got a design that works.

19. Energy saving. Means: Has an on-off switch.

20. Low maintenance. Means: Entire unit must be replaced if any part breaks.