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Tales from the Home Office...
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Customer Avoidance Techniques for the
Socially Challenged
You know you have a customer service
problem if:
1. You have your pre-schooler deal
with all problem calls from customers while you hide in the
closet.
2. You realize that you need to
make an urgent call to your mother-in-law (who you have also
been avoiding) at the exact moment the customer call comes
in.
3. Whenever the phone rings, you
quickly turn off your lights and hide under your desk hoping
your secretary will assume you've gone for the day and just
take a message. (Trust me, this never works. Inevitably you
will hear your secretary say, "Oh, wait just one moment,
I think I see him hiding under his desk. Yes, there he is.
I'll put you right through to him.")
4. You purchase a voice-disguising
device from your local spy shop.
5. You purchase a set of heavy-duty
interior dead bolts for your office door.
6. You start working the swing shift.
7. You have your office phone number
changed.
8. You give instructions to the
local phone company to designate your new phone number as
"unlisted".
9. You get a legal name change and
begin wearing goofy disguises to the office.
10. You record a message on your
personal answering machine that greets all customer calls
patched through by your secretary with a message that says
(in a high pitched nasal voice) "The number you have
dialed is no longer in service. Please check the number and
dial again."
11. You install Caller I.D. on your
personal office phone.
Overheard
in the Home Office
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