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More Tales from the Home Office...

Free Info on our recommended Medical Transcription Program leading to an exciting home based medical transcription career

Body for Life?

When you're a busy entrepreneur, it's sometimes hard to find the time to take care of yourself.

I took a long look in the mirror the other day and concluded that I was just about worth shooting.

  •   My hair was graying
  •   My hairline was receding
  •   My cheeks were sagging
  •   My eyelids were drooping
  •   My shoulders were narrowing
  •   My back was stooping
  •   My skin was pale white
  •   My neck was red
  •   My teeth were yellowing
  •   My stomach was protruding
  •   And my derriìre wasæ
  • Well, let's not get too personal here.

    But given the severity of the situation, life just didn't seem much worth living anymore.

    I had reached rock bottom.

    Then, in my moment of ultimate despair -- just as I was fumbling around awkwardly in search of the phone number for Dr. Jack Kervorkian, which I had scratched out hastily on a small slip of paper the last time I was in a like frame of mind -- an angel appeared.

    Actually, it turned out to be my sister-in-law who, at that moment, had something of a heavenly glow about her. She had just returned from her morning workout - and she looked good.

    Sensing my dejection, or perhaps just feeling sorry for my pitiful persona, she shared three magical words as she breezed past me to the kitchen to measure out her morning ration of granola and skim milk.

    "Body for Life," she said simply.

    "Body for Life?" I inquired, following her into the kitchen. "What's that?"

    "It's a book," she stated matter of factly.

    I was intrigued. So pouring myself an extra-large bowl of Captain Crunch and grabbing the last of the day-old doughnuts from the counter I joined her at the table.

    "Body for Life, huh? I've never heard of it."

    "Obviously not" she replied curtly.

    She proceeded to explain that it was a diet and fitness program designed to breathe vitality into even the most grotesquely out of shape individuals.

    "Do you think it could do anything for me?" I asked hopefully.

    She gave me a quick once over, grimaced slightly, and concluded: "It sure couldn't hurt."

    She thrust the book at me as she departed. "Here, have a look - it might just change your life."

    It turns out the book is full of testimonials. It contains page after page of "before" and "after" pictures of supposedly regular, ordinary, average people much like myself, who had transformed themselves from something resembling the Pillsbury dough boy to statuesque models of physical perfection by using this program.

    Visions of massive biceps and rippling pectorals began to fill my mind. I reasoned that if the low life's in these pictures could do it then perhaps a low life like myself might do it also.

    This was downright exciting. I couldn't wait to get started. Shoveling down the rest of my Captain Crunch, I took my doughnut and wandered off to search out the secrets of the beefy author on the cover of the book.

    For the next three days I followed the diet and training regimen in meticulous detail. Each day started with half a grapefruit and a large glass of water. For lunch it was plain tuna (packed in water, not oil) crumbled over a large slice of lettuce. For dinner, there was a cup of thin broth and a small helping of low fat gelatin.

    The exercises were grueling and unrelenting. It seemed that there was hardly time to fit in a job - let alone have any fun - with the demands of this workout. And my body ached in places that were simply not meant to ache.

    I quickly noticed that the energy and vitality that were supposed to accompany these strenuous workouts seemed to be severely lacking. I literally crawled into bed each night.

    After three agonizing days, I concluded that this was no way to live a life. I mean, wasn't there just a pill or something I could take?

    My sister in law didn't even pretend to hide her disgust at my puniness as I quietly returned the book.

    But in the end, she was right. The book did change my life. I went back to my old lifestyle with a renewed sense of enthusiasm and vigor. I had a totally new outlook on life. I was full of boundless energy - (not to mention sugar).

    I would heartily recommend the book to anyone who is feeling discouraged about their current situation. Now, if you'll please excuse meæ it's time for my daily twinkie run.

    Skip the Vacuum Cleaner, Bring out the Hose...

    Index: Tales From the Home Office

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